Of Fondue and Rumors
by particularly good finder
Summary: Brittany invites Kurt and Blaine to be on her hit webshow, Fondue For Two. For some unknown and inane reason, they accept.


"Welcome back to Fondue For Two. I'm Brittany, and this is my Dolphin, Kurt, and his boy-toy, Blaine."

Blaine gave Brittany a questioning look, but Kurt just nibbled on a piece of cheese-covered bread, completely ignoring the inanity coming from his friend's mouth.

"Well, thank you for having us, Brittany," Blaine said politely, taking some of the fondue out of courtesy. In all honesty, it looked like cat barf.

"Okay, first question," the blonde girl said, blinking a couple of times. "Is it true you two did the nasty in the back of Finn Hudson's truck?"

Kurt choked on the bread he was eating, coughing violently. Blaine sat in surprised silence for a moment, then went to his boyfriend's aid, rubbing his back soothingly.

"Where-" Kurt sputtered. "D-id you hear- t-that?"

Brittany smiled. "I'm sorry, I can't reveal my sources."

Blaine was suddenly very uncomfortable. "Um, Brittany-"

"Next question." She cut him off, smiling happily. "Is it true that Blaine uses too much tongue? That's what Rachel says."

"Yes." Blaine looked over to Kurt incredulously. Kurt raised an eyebrow. "But I like it."

Blaine grinned, kissing Kurt's cheek. "Nice save."

Brittany grinned at the boyfriends, and turned to Blaine. "Isn't kissing him the nicest? He's so soft and yummy-smelling."

There was an awkward silence, then: "Wait, _what_?"

Kurt shrugged it off. "Britt and I dated for a week last year. No biggie."

"And you got mad at _me_ for having a fling with Rachel?"

Brittany clapped excitedly. "Ooh, drama! Let's watch, dear viewers."

Kurt blushed. "Look, I wasn't questioning who I was – I just wanted to be the son my dad's always wanted, okay?"

"And that makes it better?" Blaine frowned, voice gaining an angry edge to it.

"No." Kurt's eyes flashed in pain. "But no one was openly in love with me; I was only hurting myself."

The room was dead silent. Brittany was beaming, leaning in for more juicy gossip. Blaine looked torn between anger and guilt.

"Look, Kurt-" Blaine looked at Brittany's camera, scowling. "Let's talk. Not in here."

The screen went dark, then a blurry image appeared, wiggling a little as someone handled the camera manually. The lens focused in on the two boys standing in the hallway, heads bent down, both looking ashamed.

"I didn't know you were in love with me, Kurt. I swear." Blaine sounded so sad, so guilty for ever hurting Kurt.

Kurt's voice was the same. "I made it _so clear_, Blaine. I even told you I was interested!"

A small laugh, then: "Yeah. _Interested_. I didn't know you were all that serious about it. I mean…you were in love with me, even then?"

Kurt shifted, avoiding Blaine's eyes. "Yeah. I've loved you a long time, Blaine. I thought you knew that."

Blaine chuckled sadly, placing both hands on Kurt's shoulders. "Haven't you learned by now? I'm hopelessly oblivious."

Kurt smiled a little, resting his forehead against Blaine's. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry, too." Blaine pecked Kurt's nose, moving his hands to his boyfriend's waist.

"Should we go back and finish Brittany's interview? She might bring up some delicious gossip about Santana and Karofsky." Kurt said, intertwining one hand with Blaine's. The curly-haired boy grinned.

"Only if we get to eat more of that nasty fondue."

"Great."

The screen went dark again, and then Brittany's bedroom reappeared, with Kurt and Blaine back in their normal positions. Their hands were stilled intertwined, and a fat cat now sat on Brittany's knee.

"So, Lord Tubbington has a few questions to ask you, but since he only speaks Cat-o-nese, I'll translate." Both boys were now actively ignoring Brittany's rambling.

"Okay, so Kurt, this is about Blaine – boxers or briefs?"

"Lace panties." Blaine blushed, hitting Kurt on the arm. Kurt grinned wickedly, pecking his boyfriend's cheek. "Okay, okay – boxers."

Brittany nodded, turning to Blaine. "So, Blaine, how does it feel to know that Kurt was totally doing the deed with Sam at his motel this week?"

Kurt sighed, and Blaine tried very hard not to laugh. "Um, you know, I think we'll get past it somehow. But I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him again."

Kurt had to bite his lip to keep from laughing, and he gripped Blaine's hand very tightly.

"I'm sorry," Brittany said sincerely. "Santana told me I shouldn't say things like that about people I like because it can ruin their reputations."

"It's okay, sweetie," Kurt said, patting her leg. "Blaine and I forgive you."

Brittany smiled. "Yay! Okay, I guess we're all out of time for today. Let's give Blaine and Kurt a round of applause for being my first guests to not leave halfway through an interview. Well, at least they came back." The girl clapped by herself, then forced Lord Tubbington's paws to hit each other a couple of times. He did not look amused.

Blaine leaned in to Kurt, whispering in his ear, "You know, Finn's truck _would_ be an interesting location. We should try sometime."

Kurt blushed, but smiled as Brittany went to turn off the camera. "Blaine Anderson, have I not warned you against taking advice from Brittany? It can only lead to trouble."

Blaine grinned wickedly, pressing a kiss to Kurt's neck. "Mm. But as long as it's the good kind of trouble, I don't think I'll mind too much."


End file.
